I have officially reached my breaking point. If you don't want to read a whiney depressing post then I suggest you stop now, otherwise, please, by all means continue.I am so ready to just have this baby I am ready to scream! My wonderful parents have had the girls since Saturday night, in an attempt to let me peacefully transition into full on labor and still get some rest. HA! Instead I find myself spending 9/10 of the night roaming the floors, and most of the day crying on the couch. For heaven's sake, I can't even sit for more than 15 or 20 minutes. EVERYTHING hurts! Sitting, standing, laying... you name it, I've done it. And of course my doctor is out of town on vacation!
I officially hate contractions! I have been having them like this for about the last two weeks, and the last info I had was that I am dialated to 1cm... 1cm... you've got to be freaking kidding me!
I feel like I am the one standing on the bridge screaming, and nobody even notices me. I realize that the doctors need to do what is best for the baby, but I seriously feel like they have forgotten that I have my own health issues to deal with. I feel like a bad mom thinking that at this point I would rather have the baby have to be in the hospital for an extra day or two (because that's all it will be at this point in the game) if her lungs aren't ready rather than me be in the hospital every day for the next two weeks. I think maybe it's about time I am a bit selfish... I think I've earned it.
So, yes, I have an appointment with the "fake" doctor in an hour. Yes, I call him fake because I was informed "on the down-low" that he will probably not do anything other than keep me pregnant long enough for my real Doctor to come back and deal with my issues. Umm... even though he may not be my doctor, in my doctor's absence doesn't he still have an obligation to do what is best for me? Maybe I am confused. The wonderful nurse, however, told me to make him listen to me when I go in today and ask if he will order an amnioscentesis to see if Madison's lungs are fully developed. Apparently baby girls are fully matured for birth before male babies, so she may be ready to come out and go home like a normal baby by this point already.
I am so totally miserable at this point, I am like a walking Zombie, liable to eat the first person that crosses my path... maybe not literally, but no promises that they wouldn't sustain major injuries.
5 comments:
Awww honey im sorry things are so hard right now. The time will come soon though and you will be happy again! :D
I wish you the best of luck. Keep going momma you can do it. :D
"I officially hate contractions!"
Um - don't we all?! :)
Listen to Alyse. She is wise. Soon all will be better. I don't know what else to tell you. I love you! And I'll pray for you.
Prayers and hugs from this quarter as well! The best kind, because you know exactly how the perfect hug would feel to help you be better.
On a more pragmatic level, if you really do need someone to walk by to eat up in order to feel better, give the say-so and we'll see that a scrap goat is arranged to help release stress down to a manageable level.
You are loved, dear Meghan. Whatever else happens, always remember that.
Hmm... not sure goat sounds very appetizing.
I was right about the fake doctor though. I have an appointment scheduled next Wednesday morning and he said my real doctor could then order the amniocentesis. Now I just have to keep my mind occupied for week and see if my mental stability can survive.
Seriously, let us know what we can do to help this week. * hugs *
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