Florence Clara Fannin

Otherwise known as Grandma. Well, what can I say, I promised to get it all out, and now I find myself waiting to hear back about what prints to make for a customer and all three girls are asleep... so there's no time like the present.

Pretty much everyone in the whole wide world heard about the family fiasco earlier last month. It got to the point that I was ready to buy airline tickets to fly down to San Diego. Alas, Tuesday Morning on my way to work, a mere two days after my grandmother had been given 7-10 days to live, I got a call from my Father. All he could say was simply "it's over", at which point I became a nervous wreck. My amazing brother Aaron had been present at the hospital the night before, and after being updated on Grandma's condition and promptly hung up on so other people could be called, ,y brother had the insight to call me on his cell phone. "Grandma woke up but she still can't talk. She can nod her head and she can squeeze our hands so we know she knows who we are. Do you want to say Goodbye?" I am so thankful for the simple things in life sometimes. A brother that I have barely talked to in the last almost 6 years gave me the one thing I feared I would never get. A chance to say goodbye.

With a broken voice and a tear soaked face I was able to tell my Grandma how much I loved her and what she had meant to me all these years. I then went and woke up my two oldest girls and they got to tell Grandma they loved her too. Ugh, I can't even sit here... excuse me while I go get more tissues.

Okay, I am back, dry, and armed with maple cookies. Anyway, the next morning on my way to work, I learned she had passed away about 6 hours after I talked to her. Funeral arrangements had already been made for Thursday afternoon. Yet again, I didn't think I would make it.

Cory's Dad, Ralph, talked with me and planned to rearrange his trip to Ventura, California that he had had planned. As soon as my shift at work was over, I went home, packed a bag, and we all went to stay the night at Cory's Parent's house. The next morning at 4am Ralph and I loaded our stuff in his truck and took off for San Diego. He is amazing. He drove me all the way into San Diego just to make sure I arrived at my destination safely.

Once in San Diego, I had about 30 seconds to gather myself and get in yet another car, where we were wished away to my brother Aaron's wife's hair salon. Refusing to take compensation, Tiki gave each of the women in the family a fresh haircut for the funeral planned the next day. After a haircut, I was then wisked away to buy a new pair of black church shoes, as the ones I found before leaving were from four years ago before babies enlarged my shoe size about an inch too tight. Next I was delivered to my Aunt's house where we ate a somewhat subdued dinner. Afterwards, I had the opportunity to sit down and write the eulogy for my Cousin's to read. It was great reliving some of the funny stories I experienced as a child, and hearing many stories I had never heard. You know, the kind that are only safe to tell after said person has passed on.

The next morning involved a first for me. I was invited to help dress and prepare my Grandmother for the funeral services. I wasn't afraid, I was just apprehensive. I have memories as a child being whisked out of the room so the "Women" could get the person prepared, but I had never been a "woman" before. My two aunts, my Mother, and I, entered the small room where my grandma lay covered on a table. My little five foot nothing, curly, white haired, grandma. I'll spare the full details so as not to freak anyone out, but the four of us got grandma dresses in a nice blue pants suit, got her glasses on, and her favorite earrings in. Chris, a caretaker came in and talked with us, and with his help, we were able to fix up her hair, and put on just a tiny amount of makeup (none of us in the family are big make-up wearers). What I had worried might be wierd or akward turned out to be the best experience of the whole trip. I was able to do for my grandmother what she once did for me as a child. I was able to love her and care for her and do something for her that she could no longer do for herself. The entire experience was calming and peaceful, and I am so happy I was able to be there for it.

Later that day, we gathered together again for the funeral services. Being one of the most level headed and even tempered of my family, I was thrown into the program to read a poem by A. L. Frink, entitled Rose Beyond the Wall:

The Rose Beyond the Wall

Near a shady wall a rose once grew,
Budded and blossomed in God's free light,
Watered and fed by the morning dew,
Shedding it's sweetness day and night.

As it grew and blossomed fair and tall,
Slowly rising to loftier height,
It came to a crevice in the wall
Through which there shone a beam of light.

Onward it crept with added strength
With never a thought of fear or pride,
It followed the light through the crevice's length
And unfolded itself on the other side.

The light, the dew, the broadening view
Were found the same as they were before,
And it lost itself in beauties new,
Breathing it's fragrance more and more.

Shall claim of death cause us to grieve
And make our courage faint and fall?
Nay! Let us faith and hope receive--
The rose still grows beyond the wall,

Scattering fragrance far and wide
Just as it did in days of yore,
Just as it did on the other side,
Just as it will forevermore.

~ A. L. Frink ~

Now, funerals are definitely sad, and I miss my Grandmother, but I do know she is in a much better place now, where she no longer feels pain, and for that I am glad. The last few years had been so hard on her, and dementia had quickly been taking it's toll on her. I am sad I can't see her or hear her, but I know she can hear me, and I know we will see each other again. I am so greatful that I had a chance to say goodbye, though it wasn't the way I had wanted, I at least got my chance, which is more than a lot of people get. Most of all, I am greatful for a wonderful, funny Grandmother who lived life to it's fullest and provided us all with an example I hope to be able to share with my children and grandchildren.